


Learning to Live With It

by lrhaboggle



Category: Goosebumps - All Media Types, Haunted Mask
Genre: Agression, Anger, Angst, Bittersweet, Comfort, Cute, Depression, Devotion, F/F, Fear, Freedom, Friendship, Getting Help, Hate, Help, Hurt/Comfort, Intrusive Thoughts, Loneliness, Love, Loyalty, Mask, Minor Romance, Recovery, Sad, Short, Stress, Support, drug metaphor, face - Freeform, haunted mask - Freeform, platonic, romantic, suicidal implications
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 20:36:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15648486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lrhaboggle/pseuds/lrhaboggle
Summary: Carly Beth still has the Haunted Mask after all this time, and she isn't sure how much longer she can fight its influence. Will Sabrina be able to save Carly Beth from herself, or will Carly Beth draw forever inward until nothing but the Haunted Mask remains?





	Learning to Live With It

Carly Beth ran tired fingers through frazzled hair. High school wasn't that bad, but it certainly wasn't good either. Instead, it was just a whole bunch of crap she was learning to live with. Day in and day out, an array of stressors of all shapes and sizes came at her, and though they were not impossible to deal with, it did get quite tiring. She had to deal with family, friends, enemies, boys, girls, school, jobs, hobbies, likes, dislikes, grades, papers, teachers, careers, futures. It was just an overload of things that were starting to overwhelm her not by difficulty, but by sheer number. The one thing she hated most of all, however, was none of these things. What really had Carly Beth going at the moment was actually a very dark secret that she had. And it was something only she knew about. And what was this dark secret? The Haunted Mask.

That was right. Even though she'd managed to defeat the thing back in Panic Park a few years ago, it had still found its way back home with her. She was still learning to live with it, and live with the fact that she was essentially its new keeper, and as much as she loathed the idea, she did not protest it anymore. She allowed it to live in a box under her bed and would occasionally try to fend off its demonic influence. It actually wasn't that hard anymore after the event at Panic Park, but it still wasn't easy either. Trying to keep her sanity and fend off the influence of the Haunted Mask was hard. Especially since she was doing it alone while dealing with high school drama.

"Stupid thing," she punched the box the Haunted Mask was resting in. The Haunted Mask had nearly won this time, getting Carly Beth to go as far as picking it up and touching it to her face. She had not put it on, luckily, but she had come pretty close. The last time she had ever come anywhere near this level was several months ago when she had been in a really bad mood, having just broken up with her boyfriend, Gary. Of course, that breakup was long overdue by that point, but Carly Beth still screamed and cried when they finally ended their relationship. That night, Carly Beth had actually slipped the Haunted Mask on, but the moment she pulled it too far down, she came to her senses and yanked it off quickly. She had spent the rest of the night crying, curled up in fetal position around the box as she continued to toy with the idea of actually finishing the job and just putting it on. Maybe she should just start learning to live with it and make it her new face forever.

Now she was thinking the same thing again tonight, even though she hadn't suffered anything like a breakup today. Sometimes these "attacks" just happened, and all the girl could do was deal with it, unpleasant as that was. She did manage to find the strength to put the Haunted Mask back in its box, but she was still holding it in her lap, having not found the strength to hide it back underneath her bed yet.

" _Carly Beth, Carly Beth, Carly Beth..._ " the Haunted Mask whispered up to her and, against her will, the young woman opened the box again. There, resting calmly at the bottom, was that awful, evil mask. Its sickly green skin gleamed in the moonlight as its demonic yellow eyes glowed like little fires, the light glistening off of wet, white, pointy fangs that protruded past ugly green sausage-lips. Carly Beth felt a wave of repulsion, and it was almost enough to make her put the box back, but those glowing yellow eyes had her hypnotized and she continued to stare hollowly down into that cursed box at that nightmarish face that grinned so wickedly back up at her.

For the next half hour, Carly Beth could do nothing but stare at the horrific face. No matter what she did or thought, it always came back around to the Haunted Mask, like running around a hamster wheel. She could not escape its influence, no matter how hard she did or didn't try. She could only stare into its eyes and think. Would it be easier if she surrendered? If she accepted her eventual fate? If she just sped up the process and put the Haunted Mask on and let it take over once and for all? Would it be easier to quit now? To let it win? To let it control? To stop thinking and fighting? Would it be easier if Carly Beth obeyed the will of the Mask and let it steal her identity? It was already stealing her life, so why not let it finish the job and take over her mind? She would not be in pain anymore if she surrendered her will to the ghastly rage that always seemed to turn in the back of her mind and hiss through her veins and broil in her stomach...

 _Rrrriiiinngggg! Rrrriiiinngggg! Rrrriiiinngggg!_ It was midnight. Carly Beth had not been expecting a phone call. It was just the distraction she needed, however, and she finally put the lid on the Haunted Mask, shoved it back under her bed, and picked up her phone, not caring who was on the other end so long as they distracted her long enough to make her forget the Haunted Mask.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Carly Beth!" the voice replied.

"Sabrina?" Carly Beth's face contorted in confusion and some of her rationality returned. What was her best friend doing calling her so late?

"I just wanted to check up on you," Sabrina answered Carly Beth's silent question.

"Check up on me?" the girl was still confused.

"Yeah. You seemed... distracted in class today. I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Sabrina's voice was soft and gentle, full of genuine concern and affection and a desire to help if she could. Despite all of the pain she was in right now, Carly Beth couldn't stop a smile. Oh, good old Sabrina Mason. What had Carly Beth done to deserve such a loyal and loving friend? Of course Sabrina would notice when something was wrong with Carly Beth and of course she would be the first to ask. She was the only one who ever did! Good old Sabrina Mason.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Carly Beth said, and for once, it wasn't a lie. Just hearing Sabrina was enough to calm her down, and to hear the love with which Sabrina spoke helped even further. Carly Beth wasn't lying now when she said she was doing ok.

"Well, that's good," Sabrina said awkwardly. Carly Beth couldn't help but chuckle a little.

"It is, isn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah," Sabrina agreed. She paused for a moment before offering up a proposal to Carly Beth.

"Hey, uh listen. Did you want to maybe hang out with me after school tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sure," Carly Beth was a bit surprised by the sudden proposal, but glad to agree if it got her out of the house and away from the Mask for a while.

"Great. Let's just go get some coffee as soon as class lets out," Sabrina suggested.

"Sure," Carly Beth repeated. Sabrina made a noise of relief on the other end of the phone and Carly Beth laughed again.

The two had spoke for another 15 minutes before Sabrina finally hung up. Hearing the line go dead made Carly Beth's face droop and stomach tighten as she realized that she was entirely alone with the Haunted Mask again, but it seemed to have given up for the night because even though Carly Beth was all alone again, she couldn't feel its pull. Had Sabrina's call "scared" it away? Carly Beth hoped so... Maybe she would finally get a good night's rest! She fell asleep dreaming of the coffee she and Sabrina would share the next day.

About 16 hours later, the two girls sat outside the local coffee shop.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Carly Beth asked at last, sipping her drink.

"What do you mean?" Sabrina replied as she sipped her own drink.

"I mean, you made it sound like you had something you really wanted to talk about, so I was wondering what that was," Carly Beth replied.

"Can't a girl just hang out with her old best friend?" Sabrina defended playfully.

"Of course she can. But did she really have to call at midnight to ask?" Carly Beth reminded her with a smirk.

She had expected Sabrina to laugh, or maybe even pretend to get offended, but instead, Sabrina suddenly became very serious.

"Look, Carly Beth, I'm sorry I called you that late. I really am! But I'm worried about you..." she began.

"Sabrina, I'm fine," Carly Beth interrupted the taller girl before she could continue, already starting to feel ill just by bringing up the topic of her current emotional state.

"No, you're not," Sabrina interrupted now. "I've been quiet for long enough, but I really have to say something."

"What do you mean?" Carly Beth demanded, getting worried now. Did they really have to talk about this right now and ruin the serenity of just getting to hang out? Carly Beth didn't feel like confronting her demons right now. At least not with Sabrina present.

"You've been so distant, moody and miserable of late," Sabrina cried, finally losing a bit of her calmness. She wasn't just going to let Carly Beth brush this off... again.

"And don't just chalk it up to school or hormones!" she added. "I know that it's something else, and I want to help you, before it's too late."

"Too late?" Carly Beth frowned deeply, but suddenly, she could almost feel the Haunted Mask's pull. Sabrina nodded seriously again.

"I even got a strange feeling last night," she said. "Like something really bad was going to happen to you. Or that you were going to let it happen... But I couldn't. I couldn't just sit by and let you get hurt. I had to do something. That's why I called you."

"Something was going to happen to me?" Carly Beth was getting really worried now. How much did Sabrina know?

"The Haunted Mask," Sabrina replied. Ah. That answered the question. All of it. Sabrina knew all of it.

What followed was a somewhat awkward confession on Carly Beth's part. Of course, Sabrina had known about the Haunted Mask, having helped her defeat it on several occasions, including in Panic Park, but she had _not_ known that the Haunted Mask was still haunting Carly Beth even now, several years later. It had been Carly Beth's most well-kept secret. It was something she hadn't told her mother, or even Sabrina. Now Sabrina knew. She had figured it out after seeing all the warning signs of the Mask's possession manifesting in Carly Beth. Now she was calling Carly Beth out on trying to keep it secret and not letting her help bear this awful burden.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Sabrina demanded. "I could've helped you!"

"I didn't want to drag you back into it," Carly Beth said weakly.

"But friends don't keep secrets from each other!" Sabrina argued. "We promised we would always look after each other!"

"I was only trying to protect you," Carly Beth tried again. "I didn't want you getting hurt."

"Well you can't exactly do that if the Mask hurts you instead!" Sabrina cried. "And how could I forgive myself if you ever did lose yourself to that monster? How could I live knowing that I had let my best friend die without even knowing!?"

"But it wasn't hurting me," Carly Beth said. "I've been well able to handle myself!"

"Then explain why I got the sudden feeling that you were about to let it win!" Sabrina demanded. "I still remember how that Mask works, Carly Beth. I know how it possess a person. Maybe it hasn't hurt you yet, but we both know that it will eventually if you don't do something soon!"

"That was only a gut feeling of yours," Carly Beth tried to wave off her friend's concern, but it didn't work.

"Carly Beth Caldwell! I know the Haunted Mask almost as well as you do! I know you have it and I know it's hurting you, so why won't you let me help you?! You know I'd do anything to save you!" Sabrina finally exploded. It was nothing compared to Carly Beth's reply.

"DON'T YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?! DON'T YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW YOU'D DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME?! WELL THAT'S JUST IT! THAT'S WHY I WON'T TELL YOU! I WON'T TELL YOU BECAUSE THE MASK HAS ALREADY WON! IVE' ALREADY GIVEN MYSELF UP TO IT! THERE'S A REASON IT'S STILL IN MY ROOM! THERE'S A REASON I STILL SPEAK TO IT ALL THE TIME! IT'S BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY LOST MYSELF TO IT! I'VE ALREADY BEEN SEDUCED ENOUGH, AND NOW, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO LET GO OF IT!"

Carly Beth and Sabrina were both crying now and had amassed a fair amount of scrutiny from the other coffee drinkers, but both of these facts were lost upon the pair as Carly Beth finally began to sob. No more words came out, just miserable noises of defeat and pain. There it was, _that_ was her biggest secret, even more than the fact that she still had the Haunted Mask. What Carly Beth was even more afraid of was not the Mask, but her feelings for it. Despite all common sense, she was still very attached and attracted to it. Like she had said, the reason she still had it wasn't just because it refused to leave her, but because _she_ refused to leave _it_. She still listened to it, even though logic said that she should at least try and destroy it. But no. She hadn't. Carly Beth had not made a single attempt to distance herself from that Mask. If anything, she _liked_ when it talked to her, despite the risk associated with such an action. It was like being addicted to a drug: dangerous and illogical, yet impossible to ignore.

And now, Carly Beth had just confessed. She had just confessed that she was addicted to the Haunted Mask and its charming power. She was addicted to the feeling of being violent and angry, reckless and free. She was addicted to everything the Mask said and did to her and how savagely gleeful it made her feel, even though it also broke her down to her core and left her feeling lost and alone every single night. It was her most embarrassing secret, that she still craved the Mask even after all it had done to her and her friends. That was why she hadn't told anyone. How could she confess to her friends that she liked the promises the Mask made to her? The promises of a glorious and gory revenge against anyone that wronged her. How could she confess to her loved ones that this life-ruining Mask was something she still indulged in and often considered wearing one last time just to finish the job and surrender to her dark side? They would surely judge her for it. And even if they didn't, they wouldn't want to help her because she was barely willing to help herself. Right? Wrong.

Following that awkward outburst at the coffee place, Sabrina had taken Carly Beth back to Carly Beth's house to face the Haunted Mask head on. The two girls sat on Carly Beth's bed with the Haunted Mask in its box resting between them. There really was no reason for this setup, but Sabrina had insisted upon it.

"This Haunted Mask is going to be a witness to everything I'm going to say to you right now," said Sabrina.

"You mean everything you wouldn't dare say in public?" Carly Beth asked miserably.

"Yes," Sabrina replied, then she began a tirade of her own. Carly Beth cringed, already terrified of what Sabrina would think of her now that she knew that Carly Beth was still in cahoots with the Haunted Mask. What Sabrina said was the exact opposite of what Carly Beth had expected.

Against Carly Beth's expectations, Sabrina had not shown any disgust or anger. At least not at Carly Beth. She did display some towards the Haunted Mask itself, but none towards Carly Beth, even though part of the reason the Mask was back at all was because of Carly Beth herself. But Sabrina didn't spend too long on that. Her tirade was not about blaming, but about promising. Sabrina didn't spend her time ranting against anyone or anything, not even the Mask. Instead, she spent her time making promises to Carly Beth, promises of support and protection.

"I promise I will stand by you, no matter what happens!" Sabrina cried sincerely, clutching Carly Beth's hand in her own. "I will stand with you against the Mask as long as you need. Even if you don't know how long or difficult this battle will be and even if you don't know what side you're even fighting for, I will be here! I promise! I will stand by you, I don't mind!" the girl's eyes flashed with passion as she continued to pledge her loyalty and love to Carly Beth, refusing to break eye contact as she continued to speak.

"You have nothing to fear. At least not from me. Not anymore," she continued. "I am so sorry that there was ever a time when you felt too afraid and ashamed to come to me, but I promise that that time is over. I won't judge you, for anything! I don't hate you and I don't think you're a bad person for continually indulging in the Mask and your own inner demons. Now, it's true that I don't think that it's very healthy of you to do that, but I promise you that I don't think any less of you because of it!" she cried.

"Having violent thoughts is not a crime. Acting on them is, but merely thinking about it is ok. They're intrusive thoughts. They're horrible, but they aren't unnatural. And if you haven't done anything yet, there is still hope! As long as you're willing to open up every once in a while to release that darker energy, it's ok to have bad thoughts! It doesn't make you a bad person!"

Sabrina's speech was so powerful and touching that left Carly Beth in tears again, but this time, it was a good and cleansing feeling.

"Thank you, Sabrina, thank you so much!" Carly Beth gasped as she leaned over the Haunted Mask's box to hug Sabrina and weep into her shoulder. Sabrina, herself, was in tears now and could only pat Carly Beth's back as she wept as well. The two remained there for quite a while, just crying in each other's arms. Finally, though, Sabrina unhooked one arm from Carly Beth to shove the Haunted Mask's box away so that they could embrace one another even closer and tighter. The two must've spent an hour in that position, Sabrina comforting a crying Carly Beth while the Haunted Mask sat behind them in its box.

The lid was still on the box, so neither girl could see the Haunted Mask's face. If they had been able to, however, they would've seen how lifeless and dull it looked. The fangs were dry and almost rubbery, the eyes were dull and dark and empty, and the skin looked faded and fake. The slickness and warmth to it had gone out, and now it only looked like a cheap piece of rubber. Just for that one moment, the Haunted Mask was truly nothing more than a mask, its horrifically humanoid features nulled by Sabrina's symbol of undying love for Carly Beth. Just for that one moment, once again, the Haunted Mask had been defeated and was forced to spend the rest of those dark hours as nothing more than a cheap old Halloween costume while Carly Beth and Sabrina leaned on one another for support and companionship. It was going to be a very hard road, especially with the Haunted Mask there, but already, both of the girls were feeling better.

In the years to come, although the Haunted Mask never left Carly Beth's possession, its power over her waned until it was nearly nonexistent. There even came a day when she was able to touch and hold the Haunted Mask without fear. It still would arouse old feelings of violence and vengeance and wild despair within her, but not to an uncontrollable degree. She was no longer ashamed of how the Haunted Mask made her think and feel, especially when she was in its proximity. She had made her peace with what it could do it her and was no longer afraid.

"Not bad," Sabrina grinned as she watched Carly Beth chuck the Haunted Mask back under her bed with a calm and casual air.

"Thanks," Carly Beth grinned. "I'm learning to live with it. I've come to accept the fact that this Mask will always be a little part of me. It really isn't so bad, and I don't mind our common history anymore. I don't feel ashamed of it, or me."

"Just as long as it stays out of your future?" Sabrina asked knowingly. She was so proud of how far Carly Beth had come.

"Exactly," Carly Beth nodded happily. "Now why don't we go get some coffee?"

"Sure," Sabrina replied, then the two left Carly Beth's room hand and hand. Underneath Carly Beth's bed, the Haunted Mask lay limp and lifeless. Its eyes were glowing, but only just barely.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: All Haunted Mask books are canon. This takes place several years after the event of the last book. Also, minor Sabrina X Carly Beth, depending on how you want to read it.
> 
> In essence, this story treats the Mask as a metaphor for an array of conditions and items and the story itself is Carly Beth's struggle to overcome those problems and, with Sabrina's love and loyalty, she finally does. This just goes out to anyone who had to overcome some trauma in their life and finally learn, not necessarily to live with it, but to understand that past doesn't define present and future and there is always time to heal, as Carly Beth does. She is no longer ashamed of falling victim to the Mask's charm, and that is part of what helped set her free from it, though it will still always be there. You know what they say, these things don't go away, they just become manageable. 
> 
> I consider the Mask to stand for multiple things. Take your pick: Drugs, suicidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts, anger issues, depression, fear, shame, secrecy, a past trauma, mourning/grief, a personal problem, etc. Mostly, though, I was leaning towards depression and suicidal thoughts, though I did reference the intrusive thoughts and drugs. Sorry it's so dark and deep.


End file.
